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Man o' War
An achingly honest and frequently hilarious coming-of-age novel about an Arab American trans swimmer fighting to keep their head above water in a landlocked Midwestern town.
River McIntyre has grown up down the street from Sea Planet, an infamous marine life theme park slowly going out of business in small-town Ohio. When a chance encounter with a happy, healthy queer person on the annual field trip lands River literally in the shark tank, they must admit the truth: they don’t know who they are—only what they’ve been told to be. This sets off a wrenching journey of self-discovery, from internalized homophobia and gender dysphoria, through layers of coming out, affirmation surgery, and true freakin’ love.
River McIntyre has grown up down the street from Sea Planet, an infamous marine life theme park slowly going out of business in small-town Ohio. When a chance encounter with a happy, healthy queer person on the annual field trip lands River literally in the shark tank, they must admit the truth: they don’t know who they are—only what they’ve been told to be. This sets off a wrenching journey of self-discovery, from internalized homophobia and gender dysphoria, through layers of coming out, affirmation surgery, and true freakin’ love.
336 pages, Hardcover
First published May 31, 2022
About the author
Cory McCarthy
20 books336 followersCORY (previously Cori)
…earned degrees in poetry and screenwriting before falling in love with writing for children and young adults at Vermont College of Fine Arts. They have authored four acclaimed YA novels, with a middle grade series, young adult contemporary, and nonfiction picture book forthcoming. Cory coauthored the bestselling ONCE & FUTURE, a finalist for the New England Book Award, with their spouse A.R. Capetta.
…earned degrees in poetry and screenwriting before falling in love with writing for children and young adults at Vermont College of Fine Arts. They have authored four acclaimed YA novels, with a middle grade series, young adult contemporary, and nonfiction picture book forthcoming. Cory coauthored the bestselling ONCE & FUTURE, a finalist for the New England Book Award, with their spouse A.R. Capetta.
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July 18, 2023
Reread #4 in which I read my hardcover with my eyes. It was worth the struggle because this book is everything! I love it so much. I kind of want to reread it so I can annotate it.
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Reread #3. Finally have read the finished copy via audiobook which is narrated by the amazing E.R. Fightmaster!
Third times the charm because today I have an actual review of Man O’War for you. I read this for the third time on Monday. Every time I read it, I just fall more in love with all these characters, but especially River. I will never be sick of this book. I could reread it every month and get something new from it every time. This book has my whole heart.
Man O'War is a book about identity and how we hold identities regardless of whether we acknowledge their existence. This is the story of River, a Lebanese-American trans-nonbinary athlete who is been put into boxes all their life and when they meet Indy, they find out how to break free of their own captivity.
While Indy gives River the language and explanations they desperately needed, ultimately River is the only person who can set themselves free. Coming out as trans and/or nonbinary is not always a linear journey. I know from firsthand experience. You think you can't be trans/nonbinary. Then you're not trans/nonbinary enough. Eventually you might get to the stage where you find a label and you go "oh". Memories and experiences will click into place like they should've been there all along. It certainly was not an overnight experience for me and in this book, we go on a 15 year journey with River.
This book is hauntingly emotional and illustrates how toxic internalized transphobia and living in captivity for queer kids is. River has pushed down their queerness so far that it takes them diving into a shark tank (literally) to connect to it. So much of River's story resonated with me. Seeing this journey from intensely closeted and queerphobic to finding love and freedom as yourself: I don't have enough words to explain what it meant to me.
The first time I read this was via an early eARC (there were even differences in this from the physical ARC which I also read); the ending of River's story made me cry many happy tears, and each reread has been the same. When I finally held my finished copy, reading the acknowledgements made me have deep feelings. Hearing the narrator read the resources and advice/affirmations for queer kids was something I wish I had when I was a kid. This is a book I wish I could've given my teenage self. Like River, I was also deeply closeted as a teen. But it didn't change the fact that I've grown into a queer adult. Finding the labels that I needed was life changing. It's giving me so much joy to have the language to describe my feelings and experiences.
The beginning of this book is not easy to read. River is struggling and can't pinpoint why. They have feelings and opinions that are hurtful and sometimes plain wrong. But I don't blame them. They are a product of the environment they were brought up in. I love seeing River grow and learn. They do better as the book progresses. They begin to accept their own truth. It's a beautiful thing, change. While this book centers on River's journey, it's also a love story. It's one of my favorite love stories ever.
River and Indy meet during a class field trip to SeaPlanet. River is instantly attracted to Indy and can't figure out why, but they constantly seek Indy out. They want Indy's approval and to be liked. I loved these two together so much. Yes, River is very much a disaster and trying to figure out their own shit. But these two are just so cute together and I love them so much. I loved seeing so much of their love story: the highs, the lows, how they dealt with separation (badly). But Cory doesn't make us only suffer in this book. River gets a happy ending. They find family that loves and cares for them more than anything. All in all, this is one of my favorite books ever and I need everyone to pick it up immediately.
Lastly, I had so many feelings about this book I made a playlist. If you'd like to listen have at it: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7bN...
Rep: questioning pansexual nonbinary white presenting Lebanese-Irish MC with anxiety and depression, white bisexual agender love interest, Lebanese-Irish asexual cis male side character, white asexual cis female side character, Asian lesbian cis female side character in a WLW relationship, white lesbian female side characters, Black cishet male side character, white queer demiboy side character, white trans male side character, queer BIPOC side character, Lebanese cishet female side character with anxiety, various other queer side characters.
CWs: Acephobia/acemisia, alcohol consumption, biphobia/bimisia, bullying, deadnaming, dysphoria, emotional abuse, gaslighting, homophobia/homomisia, lesbophobia/lesbomisia, mental illness (anxiety and depression), misgendering, outing, transphobia/transmisia. Moderate: Cursing, cancer, racism, sexual harassment. Minor: sexual content.
____________________________________________________________
Thank you to Cory McCarthy for sending me a physical ARC and for D. (AKA BookWNoName on IG) for making a little street team for this book and including me! All opinions are my own.
So I finished physically rereading this and I'm already ready to read it again. This book is so powerful. It's so hopeful and it's so reflective. I love this journey so much. River is one of my all time favorite characters, up there with Dylan Taylor and Syd!
Rep: questioning pansexual nonbinary white presenting Lebanese-Irish MC with anxiety and depression, bisexual agender love interest, Lebanese-Irish asexual male side character, ase-spec cis female side character, Asian lesbian female side character in a WLW relationship, white lesbian female side characters, Black cishet male side character, white queer demiboy side character, trans male side character, achillean BIPOC side character, Lebanese cishet female side character, various other queer side characters.
CWs: Acephobia/acemisia, alcohol consumption, biphobia/bimisia, bullying, deadnaming, dysphoria, emotional abuse, gaslighting, homophobia/homomisia, lesbophobia/lesbomisia, mental illness (anxiety and depression), misgendering, outing, transphobia/transmisia. Moderate: Cursing, cancer, racism, sexual harassment. Minor: sexual content.
____________________________________________________________
Thank you to Penguin Teen and Netgalley for an eARC in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
After reading their spouse's book The Heartbreak Bakery I thought there couldn't be another book that would speak to my own tangled relationship with gender identity and then I read this book. I am in tears up to my soul after reading this. I am in pieces but so full of love and hope for the future. I didn't know how much I needed this book.
I haven't completely read all of Cory's backlog, but I know without a doubt that this is their best work yet. Man O'War is full of reflection and questioning. It was not an easy book, but it was one I desperately needed. I'll be singing it's praises all through next year. I loved River's character and their journey into queer identity. There's no single one way to be queer and that point is made many times in this book. We see River, Indy and other characters grow. They change and make mistakes, but they're continuing to learn the whole time.
This review isn't going to be completely coherent because I am still INCREDIBLY emotional about this book. I loved it so much and I truly don't have enough words to tell y'all about it. Books like these are the reason I read contemporary books. This was everything. I can't wait to physically have this book in my hands and cry over it.
Rep: questioning pansexual nonbinary white presenting Lebanese-Irish MC with anxiety and depression, bisexual agender love interest, Lebanese-Irish asexual male side character, Asian lesbian female side character in a WLW relationship, white lesbian female side character, Black cishet male side character, white queer demiboy side character, trans male side character, achillean BIPOC side character.
CWs: Acephobia/acemisia, alcohol consumption, biphobia/bimisia, bullying, deadnaming/misgendering, dysphoria, homophobia/homomisia, lesbophobia/lesbomisia, mental illness (anxiety and depression), outing, transphobia/transmisia. Brief: sexual content.
____________________________________________________________
Reread #3. Finally have read the finished copy via audiobook which is narrated by the amazing E.R. Fightmaster!
Third times the charm because today I have an actual review of Man O’War for you. I read this for the third time on Monday. Every time I read it, I just fall more in love with all these characters, but especially River. I will never be sick of this book. I could reread it every month and get something new from it every time. This book has my whole heart.
Man O'War is a book about identity and how we hold identities regardless of whether we acknowledge their existence. This is the story of River, a Lebanese-American trans-nonbinary athlete who is been put into boxes all their life and when they meet Indy, they find out how to break free of their own captivity.
While Indy gives River the language and explanations they desperately needed, ultimately River is the only person who can set themselves free. Coming out as trans and/or nonbinary is not always a linear journey. I know from firsthand experience. You think you can't be trans/nonbinary. Then you're not trans/nonbinary enough. Eventually you might get to the stage where you find a label and you go "oh". Memories and experiences will click into place like they should've been there all along. It certainly was not an overnight experience for me and in this book, we go on a 15 year journey with River.
This book is hauntingly emotional and illustrates how toxic internalized transphobia and living in captivity for queer kids is. River has pushed down their queerness so far that it takes them diving into a shark tank (literally) to connect to it. So much of River's story resonated with me. Seeing this journey from intensely closeted and queerphobic to finding love and freedom as yourself: I don't have enough words to explain what it meant to me.
The first time I read this was via an early eARC (there were even differences in this from the physical ARC which I also read); the ending of River's story made me cry many happy tears, and each reread has been the same. When I finally held my finished copy, reading the acknowledgements made me have deep feelings. Hearing the narrator read the resources and advice/affirmations for queer kids was something I wish I had when I was a kid. This is a book I wish I could've given my teenage self. Like River, I was also deeply closeted as a teen. But it didn't change the fact that I've grown into a queer adult. Finding the labels that I needed was life changing. It's giving me so much joy to have the language to describe my feelings and experiences.
The beginning of this book is not easy to read. River is struggling and can't pinpoint why. They have feelings and opinions that are hurtful and sometimes plain wrong. But I don't blame them. They are a product of the environment they were brought up in. I love seeing River grow and learn. They do better as the book progresses. They begin to accept their own truth. It's a beautiful thing, change. While this book centers on River's journey, it's also a love story. It's one of my favorite love stories ever.
River and Indy meet during a class field trip to SeaPlanet. River is instantly attracted to Indy and can't figure out why, but they constantly seek Indy out. They want Indy's approval and to be liked. I loved these two together so much. Yes, River is very much a disaster and trying to figure out their own shit. But these two are just so cute together and I love them so much. I loved seeing so much of their love story: the highs, the lows, how they dealt with separation (badly). But Cory doesn't make us only suffer in this book. River gets a happy ending. They find family that loves and cares for them more than anything. All in all, this is one of my favorite books ever and I need everyone to pick it up immediately.
Lastly, I had so many feelings about this book I made a playlist. If you'd like to listen have at it: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7bN...
Rep: questioning pansexual nonbinary white presenting Lebanese-Irish MC with anxiety and depression, white bisexual agender love interest, Lebanese-Irish asexual cis male side character, white asexual cis female side character, Asian lesbian cis female side character in a WLW relationship, white lesbian female side characters, Black cishet male side character, white queer demiboy side character, white trans male side character, queer BIPOC side character, Lebanese cishet female side character with anxiety, various other queer side characters.
CWs: Acephobia/acemisia, alcohol consumption, biphobia/bimisia, bullying, deadnaming, dysphoria, emotional abuse, gaslighting, homophobia/homomisia, lesbophobia/lesbomisia, mental illness (anxiety and depression), misgendering, outing, transphobia/transmisia. Moderate: Cursing, cancer, racism, sexual harassment. Minor: sexual content.
____________________________________________________________
Thank you to Cory McCarthy for sending me a physical ARC and for D. (AKA BookWNoName on IG) for making a little street team for this book and including me! All opinions are my own.
So I finished physically rereading this and I'm already ready to read it again. This book is so powerful. It's so hopeful and it's so reflective. I love this journey so much. River is one of my all time favorite characters, up there with Dylan Taylor and Syd!
Rep: questioning pansexual nonbinary white presenting Lebanese-Irish MC with anxiety and depression, bisexual agender love interest, Lebanese-Irish asexual male side character, ase-spec cis female side character, Asian lesbian female side character in a WLW relationship, white lesbian female side characters, Black cishet male side character, white queer demiboy side character, trans male side character, achillean BIPOC side character, Lebanese cishet female side character, various other queer side characters.
CWs: Acephobia/acemisia, alcohol consumption, biphobia/bimisia, bullying, deadnaming, dysphoria, emotional abuse, gaslighting, homophobia/homomisia, lesbophobia/lesbomisia, mental illness (anxiety and depression), misgendering, outing, transphobia/transmisia. Moderate: Cursing, cancer, racism, sexual harassment. Minor: sexual content.
____________________________________________________________
Thank you to Penguin Teen and Netgalley for an eARC in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
After reading their spouse's book The Heartbreak Bakery I thought there couldn't be another book that would speak to my own tangled relationship with gender identity and then I read this book. I am in tears up to my soul after reading this. I am in pieces but so full of love and hope for the future. I didn't know how much I needed this book.
I haven't completely read all of Cory's backlog, but I know without a doubt that this is their best work yet. Man O'War is full of reflection and questioning. It was not an easy book, but it was one I desperately needed. I'll be singing it's praises all through next year. I loved River's character and their journey into queer identity. There's no single one way to be queer and that point is made many times in this book. We see River, Indy and other characters grow. They change and make mistakes, but they're continuing to learn the whole time.
This review isn't going to be completely coherent because I am still INCREDIBLY emotional about this book. I loved it so much and I truly don't have enough words to tell y'all about it. Books like these are the reason I read contemporary books. This was everything. I can't wait to physically have this book in my hands and cry over it.
Rep: questioning pansexual nonbinary white presenting Lebanese-Irish MC with anxiety and depression, bisexual agender love interest, Lebanese-Irish asexual male side character, Asian lesbian female side character in a WLW relationship, white lesbian female side character, Black cishet male side character, white queer demiboy side character, trans male side character, achillean BIPOC side character.
CWs: Acephobia/acemisia, alcohol consumption, biphobia/bimisia, bullying, deadnaming/misgendering, dysphoria, homophobia/homomisia, lesbophobia/lesbomisia, mental illness (anxiety and depression), outing, transphobia/transmisia. Brief: sexual content.
July 31, 2022
i have so many thoughts and feelings about this book that somehow culminate into five stars
Read
May 27, 2022Loved it. I didn't go in knowing much about it - McCarthy's an author I'll pretty much always try - so there was a lot to be pleasantly surprised by, particularly the discussion of being Arab American and how familiar the topic of conditional whiteness was for me as a Jewish reader. I love books where gender is a messy journey, and it was a lot messier than I expected here, which I loved. I also didn't realize it was going to span so much time, which was a cool and interesting way to tell the story here. Basically, think Sasha Masha meets Birthday meets Like Water meets The Heartbreak Bakery (there seriously is no more shippable real-life couple in YA, is there) with a Lebanese American MC, but don't expect it to read like any of those. Make sense? Does to me, so whatever. Highly recommend, is my point.
May 11, 2022
DNF
The pacing in this was very hard to read. The random time skip at the beginning threw me off so much. It took me a full chapter to figure out if there was a sudden POV change or a time skip at all. And it felt very unrealistic to me, I couldn’t get into the story due to it. The MC is incredibly unlikeable and I hated the way they spoke, they are just a toxic asshole. I couldn’t muster up any sympathy for them. And this book is just miserable, full of angst and pain, I just couldn’t enjoy it
The pacing in this was very hard to read. The random time skip at the beginning threw me off so much. It took me a full chapter to figure out if there was a sudden POV change or a time skip at all. And it felt very unrealistic to me, I couldn’t get into the story due to it. The MC is incredibly unlikeable and I hated the way they spoke, they are just a toxic asshole. I couldn’t muster up any sympathy for them. And this book is just miserable, full of angst and pain, I just couldn’t enjoy it
January 27, 2023
4.5 Stars
CWs: Experienced homophobia and transphobia (internal and external); depictions of gender dysphoria; references to toxic diet culture; some emotional abuse; incidents of sexual harassment; some references to past self harm; allusions to past experiences of racism and xenophobia; some descriptions of depressive episodes; some sexual content
Going off the synopsis for this book, which is pretty vague, I had no idea what to expect when I started it. But this story has an incredibly strong narrative voice, it has really distinctive humor that effectively cuts through the tension and the more serious moments, and it’s still incredibly engaging even though it could technically be described as being “plotless.”
That’s actually what I appreciate about this story the most: the fact that this is an entire book dedicated to the journey of transition. And transition is not an experience that mimics traditional narrative structure. There is not direct connection between point A and point B, especially when there’s not even any set “points,” and the story of the process comes *from* the process itself. That is to say, transition is often not a linear process and it’s also not a universal process. "Transition" is completely and inherently different depending on the individual in question, and this story is not about what it means to transition, but what it means for *River* to transition.
Cis people, especially, have absolutely no baseline for what the transition process feels like or looks like—and this story isn’t about that, either. But it *is* about challenging the idea of what most cis people think “transition” means.
There’s this pervasive idea, especially among cis people, that to be trans you have to realize it when you’re very young, realize it because you hate yourself or hate some part of yourself, then in a very blurry montage you somehow get on hormones, have surgeries, change your name and pronouns and find instant happiness. Not only is that categorically false and a gross oversimplification of what many trans people face, but to uphold that narrative is to erase the nuances of so many trans people’s experiences.
Man O’ War is a story that happily shatters those conventions, because for most of the story, River is lost and confused. They oscillate between labels, and language, changes to their presentation and how they identify, because they’re not in a place—mentally, emotionally, or in terms of safety—where they can truly process their transness in the way it deserves.
This story honors the fact that coming into your transness doesn’t have to happen all at once—and, in fact, for most people it doesn’t—and also that the experience of transness is not lessened just because we may not instantly have all the perfect answers to very deeply complex questions. It’s so important to see a character like River, who does not have access to certain language, ideas, or experiences that many people consider “essential” to “the trans experience”—to see them painstaking unlearning their own -isms and -phobias, and gradually figuring themself out all while making mistakes.
There is no perfect way to be trans, and I feel like this story definitely encapsulates that while acknowledging that sometimes there are parts of ourselves that seem so scary or unknowable that we let them sink down deep inside of us until we’re fully ready to bring them to the surface.
In so many ways, “Man O’War” is about River’s journey towards that readiness. Their story and their relationships don’t always follow a direct path, there are imperfections and regressions and so many complicated questions, but by the end they are exactly who and where they’re meant to be.
All in all, this was an enjoyable and memorable reading experience for me. It’s definitely challenging and chaotic at times, but I think it also has the potential to be a very life-saving, life-affirming book for so many folks, and that's why I predict it will have immense staying power.
CWs: Experienced homophobia and transphobia (internal and external); depictions of gender dysphoria; references to toxic diet culture; some emotional abuse; incidents of sexual harassment; some references to past self harm; allusions to past experiences of racism and xenophobia; some descriptions of depressive episodes; some sexual content
Going off the synopsis for this book, which is pretty vague, I had no idea what to expect when I started it. But this story has an incredibly strong narrative voice, it has really distinctive humor that effectively cuts through the tension and the more serious moments, and it’s still incredibly engaging even though it could technically be described as being “plotless.”
That’s actually what I appreciate about this story the most: the fact that this is an entire book dedicated to the journey of transition. And transition is not an experience that mimics traditional narrative structure. There is not direct connection between point A and point B, especially when there’s not even any set “points,” and the story of the process comes *from* the process itself. That is to say, transition is often not a linear process and it’s also not a universal process. "Transition" is completely and inherently different depending on the individual in question, and this story is not about what it means to transition, but what it means for *River* to transition.
Cis people, especially, have absolutely no baseline for what the transition process feels like or looks like—and this story isn’t about that, either. But it *is* about challenging the idea of what most cis people think “transition” means.
There’s this pervasive idea, especially among cis people, that to be trans you have to realize it when you’re very young, realize it because you hate yourself or hate some part of yourself, then in a very blurry montage you somehow get on hormones, have surgeries, change your name and pronouns and find instant happiness. Not only is that categorically false and a gross oversimplification of what many trans people face, but to uphold that narrative is to erase the nuances of so many trans people’s experiences.
Man O’ War is a story that happily shatters those conventions, because for most of the story, River is lost and confused. They oscillate between labels, and language, changes to their presentation and how they identify, because they’re not in a place—mentally, emotionally, or in terms of safety—where they can truly process their transness in the way it deserves.
This story honors the fact that coming into your transness doesn’t have to happen all at once—and, in fact, for most people it doesn’t—and also that the experience of transness is not lessened just because we may not instantly have all the perfect answers to very deeply complex questions. It’s so important to see a character like River, who does not have access to certain language, ideas, or experiences that many people consider “essential” to “the trans experience”—to see them painstaking unlearning their own -isms and -phobias, and gradually figuring themself out all while making mistakes.
There is no perfect way to be trans, and I feel like this story definitely encapsulates that while acknowledging that sometimes there are parts of ourselves that seem so scary or unknowable that we let them sink down deep inside of us until we’re fully ready to bring them to the surface.
In so many ways, “Man O’War” is about River’s journey towards that readiness. Their story and their relationships don’t always follow a direct path, there are imperfections and regressions and so many complicated questions, but by the end they are exactly who and where they’re meant to be.
All in all, this was an enjoyable and memorable reading experience for me. It’s definitely challenging and chaotic at times, but I think it also has the potential to be a very life-saving, life-affirming book for so many folks, and that's why I predict it will have immense staying power.
May 30, 2022
All writing is a special kind of alchemy. What else do you call the transmutation of imagination to a page for other people to experience, often in ways you never could have anticipated? But once in a while, I run across a book where the author has tucked slivers of their soul in the blank spaces between words and infused a story with heart enough to burst. Cory McCarthy’s Man O’War is one such novel.
On the surface—though this is very much a book that delves beneath it, figuratively and literally—the story follows River McIntyre, a swimmer from small-town Ohio full of feelings too big for the various enclosures they find themself in. The entire paradigm of River’s life shifts in dramatic, meaningful, and ultimately cathartic ways when they have a fated run in with a queer person living their truth on the annual school field trip to SeaPlanet.
From the jump (pun fully intended), River captivated me. There’s such a raw authenticity in their journey of self-discovery that I felt poignant, powerful, and painful by turns. McCarthy’s writing lends itself to exploring emotional depth in stunning ways, and readers from all walks of life will appreciate River’s coming-of-age journey, particularly those who enjoy complex and nuanced journeys.
Where this book really shines for me is the non-linear and deeply relatable way River navigates their queerness and transness. They are (affectionately) a hot mess, and as a trans person who was/is a hot mess themself trying to sort out their identity, to see those flaws shown through a compassionate lens was a breath of fresh air. The depictions of internalized homophobia and gender dysphoria—and the huge wall of denial that often needs to be surmounted to overcome them, even with very loving people guiding our way—were heart wrenching and affirming.
There’s so much pressure on trans folks, and particularly trans kids, to be sure. To be certain. To—if they are lucky enough to have a support system at all—hurry up and ‘get it over with’, as though queer and trans identities are always set in stone. As though they should be enshrined in permanency for the comfort of the cis folks around them. What I love about Man O’War is that it allows such beautiful space for mistakes, fluidity, change, and missteps in River’s journey of affirmation and healing while taking care not to invalidate any part of that process.
Man O’War is easily a favourite of the year for me and will be a book I think about and recommend for a long time to come. The good news is you can get your hands on it starting tomorrow, May 31st, so if you enjoy authentic and emotional journeys of self-discovery, be sure to check this one out.
Thanks so much to Penguin Teen for an advance review copy. All opinions are my own.
On the surface—though this is very much a book that delves beneath it, figuratively and literally—the story follows River McIntyre, a swimmer from small-town Ohio full of feelings too big for the various enclosures they find themself in. The entire paradigm of River’s life shifts in dramatic, meaningful, and ultimately cathartic ways when they have a fated run in with a queer person living their truth on the annual school field trip to SeaPlanet.
From the jump (pun fully intended), River captivated me. There’s such a raw authenticity in their journey of self-discovery that I felt poignant, powerful, and painful by turns. McCarthy’s writing lends itself to exploring emotional depth in stunning ways, and readers from all walks of life will appreciate River’s coming-of-age journey, particularly those who enjoy complex and nuanced journeys.
Where this book really shines for me is the non-linear and deeply relatable way River navigates their queerness and transness. They are (affectionately) a hot mess, and as a trans person who was/is a hot mess themself trying to sort out their identity, to see those flaws shown through a compassionate lens was a breath of fresh air. The depictions of internalized homophobia and gender dysphoria—and the huge wall of denial that often needs to be surmounted to overcome them, even with very loving people guiding our way—were heart wrenching and affirming.
There’s so much pressure on trans folks, and particularly trans kids, to be sure. To be certain. To—if they are lucky enough to have a support system at all—hurry up and ‘get it over with’, as though queer and trans identities are always set in stone. As though they should be enshrined in permanency for the comfort of the cis folks around them. What I love about Man O’War is that it allows such beautiful space for mistakes, fluidity, change, and missteps in River’s journey of affirmation and healing while taking care not to invalidate any part of that process.
Man O’War is easily a favourite of the year for me and will be a book I think about and recommend for a long time to come. The good news is you can get your hands on it starting tomorrow, May 31st, so if you enjoy authentic and emotional journeys of self-discovery, be sure to check this one out.
Thanks so much to Penguin Teen for an advance review copy. All opinions are my own.
Read
December 7, 2021*Spoiler free*
I legitimately cried over the deal announcement for this book. I was a competitive swimmer for ten years, I'm trans, I've dealt with certain kinds of dysphoria, it was a process to grow into my identity, I've gotten top surgery. I've desperately wanted to read this book since I found out about it, since it seemed like it touch basically hit my right in the chest. Trigger warnings: internalized homophobia, transphobia, self-harm, deadnaming
This book touched upon a part of myself that is weird, deep inside. It's just, the little pieces that I saw and connected with, it's hard to describe what it feels like to what you weren't expecting to see. I am very different from River, and yet we are so, so similar. It's sort of like this book took some parts of me that have felt uncomfortable, and reflected them back at me to show that's not true. It's hard to describe a book that feels like there's a tiny piece of you in it.
The growth that River goes through, the way they grow into themselves, become themselves, find themselves, is incredible. It's like they actually become a person when they were just a shell before. As they become more comfortable with their identity, they're able to feel more at home with the world, like they don't have to fight everything that comes across their path. It was so, so wonderful to see. To see the change, sometimes slow, was just amazing.
Honestly, the whole book is about growing into your identity. About how sometimes it is painful and hard, but there is also so much joy in it, and how amazing the people who understand it are. There is such a rawness to everything. It feels so true and open and just allows the whole book to shine.
The writing was absolutely enthralling, pure talent. It was so good.
A lot of the ways this book touched me are extremely personal, but I did really really love the book. It is such a wonderful, sometimes painful, brilliant coming of age story about a trans person growing into their skin. It's amazing.
I legitimately cried over the deal announcement for this book. I was a competitive swimmer for ten years, I'm trans, I've dealt with certain kinds of dysphoria, it was a process to grow into my identity, I've gotten top surgery. I've desperately wanted to read this book since I found out about it, since it seemed like it touch basically hit my right in the chest. Trigger warnings: internalized homophobia, transphobia, self-harm, deadnaming
This book touched upon a part of myself that is weird, deep inside. It's just, the little pieces that I saw and connected with, it's hard to describe what it feels like to what you weren't expecting to see. I am very different from River, and yet we are so, so similar. It's sort of like this book took some parts of me that have felt uncomfortable, and reflected them back at me to show that's not true. It's hard to describe a book that feels like there's a tiny piece of you in it.
The growth that River goes through, the way they grow into themselves, become themselves, find themselves, is incredible. It's like they actually become a person when they were just a shell before. As they become more comfortable with their identity, they're able to feel more at home with the world, like they don't have to fight everything that comes across their path. It was so, so wonderful to see. To see the change, sometimes slow, was just amazing.
Honestly, the whole book is about growing into your identity. About how sometimes it is painful and hard, but there is also so much joy in it, and how amazing the people who understand it are. There is such a rawness to everything. It feels so true and open and just allows the whole book to shine.
The writing was absolutely enthralling, pure talent. It was so good.
A lot of the ways this book touched me are extremely personal, but I did really really love the book. It is such a wonderful, sometimes painful, brilliant coming of age story about a trans person growing into their skin. It's amazing.
March 21, 2023
oh man this is SO GOOD i loved it SO MUCH. so confidently paced! they really throw you into every time jump with such faith and it works so well. and all the water/swimming/marine bio metaphors!!! excellent. i loved river so deeply 😭 it’s about creating yourself and accepting support from the people who show up and letting go of the people who don’t. it’s so tough!!! it’s so joyous. i’m so grateful that the younger generation has stories like these 😭
December 18, 2022
Have I outgrown YA books? Because as I read this, I kept cringing at how blunt everything was. It felt like 80% of the book was explaining concepts of gender and sexuality, which got in the way of the storytelling for me. I know I loved Dread Nation last year, so maybe it's not all YA, but just YA about coming out? This book really grated me.
I think the worst part of the book for me, which also exhibits the gist of the book really well, was when the protagonist was at a college party playing a drinking game based on microaggressions. It was like 3 pages of "drink if someone has asked if you're sisters" and other microaggressions. Maybe queer YA is really for teens who are thinking about these things for the first time. Or for cishet people of any age who haven't given these topics much thought.
But for old queero's who have lived a lot of these concepts for a long time, I'm not sure this was worthwhile or fresh. I'll give it 2 stars for not being problematic and talking about marine animals, but not for me.
I think the worst part of the book for me, which also exhibits the gist of the book really well, was when the protagonist was at a college party playing a drinking game based on microaggressions. It was like 3 pages of "drink if someone has asked if you're sisters" and other microaggressions. Maybe queer YA is really for teens who are thinking about these things for the first time. Or for cishet people of any age who haven't given these topics much thought.
But for old queero's who have lived a lot of these concepts for a long time, I'm not sure this was worthwhile or fresh. I'll give it 2 stars for not being problematic and talking about marine animals, but not for me.
June 16, 2022
Can I just say it’s brilliant - because it’s brilliant.
If you need a full proper review I wrote one of those too, and you can read it on the blog BookCrushin.com
Also most of my reviews can be found there…goodreads is more my just finished reading immediate reaction.
If you need a full proper review I wrote one of those too, and you can read it on the blog BookCrushin.com
Also most of my reviews can be found there…goodreads is more my just finished reading immediate reaction.
March 22, 2023
3.5 rounded up.
An emotionally charged YA coming of age story full of heart and humor as a queer teen deals with internalized homophobia and gender dysphoria. Great on audio narrated by E.R. Fightmaster. I really enjoyed the SeaPlanet aquarium/theme park setting and all the animal references sprinkled throughout the story too!
An emotionally charged YA coming of age story full of heart and humor as a queer teen deals with internalized homophobia and gender dysphoria. Great on audio narrated by E.R. Fightmaster. I really enjoyed the SeaPlanet aquarium/theme park setting and all the animal references sprinkled throughout the story too!
Read
January 1, 2024Dr. Andy (whose review you must read) gifted me a copy of this book in 2022. 🥹
And now it's the last book I read in 2023, a perfect ending to a tumultuous year.
And now it's the last book I read in 2023, a perfect ending to a tumultuous year.
July 8, 2022
McIntyre seems like a typical depressed and caustic teen, but when a chance encounter with a former classmate on the annual field trip to SeaPlanet leaves them questioning everything, it becomes clear their mental health struggles are more due to intense dysphoria and internalised homophobia than just existing in suburban Ohio. Man o' War tells the story of how McIntyre becomes River, exploring non-binary identities, creating your own family, and finding joy in your true self.
I think if I didn't relate so deeply to River, I would have easily given this book five stars. It's written in a quite captivating style, and River's tenacity is something to behold. It's an excellent book for anyone interested in learning more about what it means to be non-binary, and what that experience feels like. There's also excellent resources at the back of the book both for those who identify with River's story and those who don't but would like to learn more and get better educated.
With that said, the deep, deep emotional weight of River's dysphoria was difficult for me to cope with throughout much of the book as a reader. You're very much inside River's head and heart the whole way through the novel, and while River talks about their 'dysphoric zombie' state, basically that's the state I was in throughout reading the book. That's why I find it difficult to rate. I thought it was excellent, but I didn't enjoy the experience of reading, it was deeply uncomfortable, and to be honest I came away feeling more jealous and hopeless than empowered or hopeful. Maybe that says more about me.
I would recommend this book to cis readers looking to understand what it feels like to be non-binary, or FTMX trans, which is how River comes to understand themself. For trans* and non-binary readers, though, I would suggest approaching Man o' War with some caution. Expect to see your darkest thoughts held up in a mirror and reflected without mercy.
cw: extreme dysphoria; transphobia; homophobia; internalised homophobia; general queerphobia; sexual assault; references to CSA (child-on-child), with no adult intervention; past bullying; abusive relationship; self-harm; suicidal ideation; arguable attempted suicide; therapist acting unprofessionally; unsupportive parent; dead name on page; mental illness
I think if I didn't relate so deeply to River, I would have easily given this book five stars. It's written in a quite captivating style, and River's tenacity is something to behold. It's an excellent book for anyone interested in learning more about what it means to be non-binary, and what that experience feels like. There's also excellent resources at the back of the book both for those who identify with River's story and those who don't but would like to learn more and get better educated.
With that said, the deep, deep emotional weight of River's dysphoria was difficult for me to cope with throughout much of the book as a reader. You're very much inside River's head and heart the whole way through the novel, and while River talks about their 'dysphoric zombie' state, basically that's the state I was in throughout reading the book. That's why I find it difficult to rate. I thought it was excellent, but I didn't enjoy the experience of reading, it was deeply uncomfortable, and to be honest I came away feeling more jealous and hopeless than empowered or hopeful. Maybe that says more about me.
I would recommend this book to cis readers looking to understand what it feels like to be non-binary, or FTMX trans, which is how River comes to understand themself. For trans* and non-binary readers, though, I would suggest approaching Man o' War with some caution. Expect to see your darkest thoughts held up in a mirror and reflected without mercy.
cw: extreme dysphoria; transphobia; homophobia; internalised homophobia; general queerphobia; sexual assault; references to CSA (child-on-child), with no adult intervention; past bullying; abusive relationship; self-harm; suicidal ideation; arguable attempted suicide; therapist acting unprofessionally; unsupportive parent; dead name on page; mental illness
February 7, 2022
Man o' War spans over several years of River McIntyre's life, beginning with a personal realization so sudden and intimidating that they jump into the literal shark tank at the local SeaPlanet. Intimate like a diary, McIntyre's identity and growth washes over them in waves as time ticks by-- an achingly real portrayal that mirrors many trans experiences in a way that holds your heart in a vice grip. Man o' War is a blistering novel that caught me in its tide, a fully-rounded and resolute coming of age.
December 26, 2022
This book is everything 😭 I'm trying to find the right words about this book and how I feel about it, but it's a bit hard. What I can say though is that it's emotional, it's haunting, and it's a journey of trying to break free of all the cage and restraints we've been put into. I'm very thankful I got to read this.
Read
April 21, 2023This was quite exceptional. I genuinely enjoyed the entire story and it's a very emotional one. I definitely get the hype.
My singular struggle was the pacing and I think it's an audiobook issue. The chapters aren't announced so the time jumps felt very abrupt but I can see how if you're reading it you can process you just finished a chapter and started a new one. A simple, "Chapter blank" said at the beginning of each could've solved this issue.
My singular struggle was the pacing and I think it's an audiobook issue. The chapters aren't announced so the time jumps felt very abrupt but I can see how if you're reading it you can process you just finished a chapter and started a new one. A simple, "Chapter blank" said at the beginning of each could've solved this issue.
June 23, 2022
Update since rereading on audiobook: E.R. Fightmaster *is* River McIntyre. The nuance and emotion they brought to the character won me over from page one, made me tear up at the weirdest of places, and brought River to life. HIGHLY RECOMMEND.
*
Well, I don't even know how to say it any other way that I loved this book. River McIntyre lives in captivity in a landlocked town in Ohio, home of the famous Sea Planet theme park. They have a chance run-in on a school trip there with a former classmate, Indy, who is out and queer and living their truth. This encounter is the splash of cold water River needed, as is the shark tank they dive into only for Indy to pull them out.
But first River must deal with their internalized homophobia and transphobia which is no easy task, and not something that happens all at once. This is illustrated through When Harry Met Sally-style time skips from the first meeting to a year later, through high school to college, and beyond. And throughout, Indy is the backbone.
McCarthy weaves sea life metaphors seamlessly with the stresses and worries and expectations (often incorrect) of fitting in and coming out, making River's achingly emotional journey wholly relatable. Their story spans years, through broken friendships and mended family and true love.
I requested an ARC from the publisher, and yep, have read it twice. Favorite YA contemporary of the year!
Content warnings: Internalized homophobia and transphobia, deadnaming, racism, self-harm, TERFs, and animal abuse (for-profit captivity)
*
Well, I don't even know how to say it any other way that I loved this book. River McIntyre lives in captivity in a landlocked town in Ohio, home of the famous Sea Planet theme park. They have a chance run-in on a school trip there with a former classmate, Indy, who is out and queer and living their truth. This encounter is the splash of cold water River needed, as is the shark tank they dive into only for Indy to pull them out.
But first River must deal with their internalized homophobia and transphobia which is no easy task, and not something that happens all at once. This is illustrated through When Harry Met Sally-style time skips from the first meeting to a year later, through high school to college, and beyond. And throughout, Indy is the backbone.
McCarthy weaves sea life metaphors seamlessly with the stresses and worries and expectations (often incorrect) of fitting in and coming out, making River's achingly emotional journey wholly relatable. Their story spans years, through broken friendships and mended family and true love.
I requested an ARC from the publisher, and yep, have read it twice. Favorite YA contemporary of the year!
Content warnings: Internalized homophobia and transphobia, deadnaming, racism, self-harm, TERFs, and animal abuse (for-profit captivity)
Shelved as 'featured'
July 13, 2023
July 19, 2022
This was such an incredible book that I just happened to stumble upon on Libby looking for an available audiobook. This story was so real, it was almost like being in River’s head. It had such an autobiographical nature to it, and I feel like McCarthy pulled in elements from their life, and I appreciated his approach to not sugarcoat anything in this story. I took off a star because I have a dislike for books that incorporate the pandemic, but that is just a personal preference and nothing to do with this specific book. I absolutely loved the ongoing man o war/sea animal related metaphor throughout the entire book, I thought that was brilliant!
September 7, 2023
This book lacks plot and a meaningful story. This is basically a personal journal of a character that goes through the transition from female to male , if you are not interested in that point then this book will not appeal to you .
June 3, 2022
I’m probably gonna run out of superlatives pretty quickly in this review, just as a heads-up. Because I mean.
Damn.
GODDAMN.
MAN O’ WAR by Cory McCarthy is such a beautiful, thoughtful, nuanced story. I’m not even sure where to begin with a review. This book is quite literally everything I could hope for in a contemporary YA novel: it’s angsty as fuck, it’s funny, it’s at times unbearably sad, and it’s written with such soul-bearing honesty that you can’t help but feel profoundly moved.
I also feel like, at a time when queer books are being banned from school libraries all over this country, MAN O’ WAR could quite literally be a lifeline to many teens. Real talk, the importance of this book can not be overstated. And more than anything, I hope MAN O’ WAR finds its way into the hands of those that most need it.
The story follows River McIntyre over several years of their life. River is a high school student & swimmer who lives in a small town in Ohio, famous for its aquarium, SeaPlanet.
It’s on a field trip to SeaPlanet that River meets Indy, and everything changes. River is someone who is carrying around a lot of trauma, as they struggle with internalized homophobia and gender dysphoria. Indy is agender, and has a much better handle on who they are.
Over the course of their (really complex) relationship, Indy sort of guides River on a journey of self-acceptance & understanding. Their relationship is not an A to B kind of thing; it stops & starts & meanders a bit & there’s a lot of “will they, won’t they” vibes. It’s brutally sweet & romantic, and captured my heart completely. I’ve seen McCarthy mention once or twice that they structured the story similarly to “When Harry Met Sally,” which is a movie I’ve not actually seen. If you have seen it, it’s possible some of the story beats may feel familiar to you. But there’s really something unique about the way River & Indy’s relationship unfolds over the course of the novel.
I think one of the more complex dynamics in MAN O’ WAR is between River and their Mom. There are some really difficult scenes in the book, as River‘s Mom is not very accepting of River’s evolving identity. There is love there, but it’s messy & painful. Additionally, River’s older brother is asexual, so Mom is just struggling with having two queer children, and this lack of acceptance at home really permeates a lot of the story.
This book just fucking killed me, in all the best ways. While it’s heavy & sad & painful at times, this is a book that is intensely joyful & celebratory, too. It’s weird & quirky & fun & snarky…I just adored every last detail in MAN O’ WAR, and I cannot recommend it enough. I’ve just barely scratched the surface on all the things that this book does so well…this comes out on May 31st, so pre-order it if you are able!
MAN O’ WAR is an absolute treasure of a novel & easily one of my favorite reads of the year!
Massive thanks to Cory McCarthy for sending an ARC my way, and to my incredible friend Delara for organizing an unofficial street team to scream about this wonderful book!
Some content warnings to note: gender dysphoria, internalized homophobia, cissexism, racism, misgendering.
Damn.
GODDAMN.
MAN O’ WAR by Cory McCarthy is such a beautiful, thoughtful, nuanced story. I’m not even sure where to begin with a review. This book is quite literally everything I could hope for in a contemporary YA novel: it’s angsty as fuck, it’s funny, it’s at times unbearably sad, and it’s written with such soul-bearing honesty that you can’t help but feel profoundly moved.
I also feel like, at a time when queer books are being banned from school libraries all over this country, MAN O’ WAR could quite literally be a lifeline to many teens. Real talk, the importance of this book can not be overstated. And more than anything, I hope MAN O’ WAR finds its way into the hands of those that most need it.
The story follows River McIntyre over several years of their life. River is a high school student & swimmer who lives in a small town in Ohio, famous for its aquarium, SeaPlanet.
It’s on a field trip to SeaPlanet that River meets Indy, and everything changes. River is someone who is carrying around a lot of trauma, as they struggle with internalized homophobia and gender dysphoria. Indy is agender, and has a much better handle on who they are.
Over the course of their (really complex) relationship, Indy sort of guides River on a journey of self-acceptance & understanding. Their relationship is not an A to B kind of thing; it stops & starts & meanders a bit & there’s a lot of “will they, won’t they” vibes. It’s brutally sweet & romantic, and captured my heart completely. I’ve seen McCarthy mention once or twice that they structured the story similarly to “When Harry Met Sally,” which is a movie I’ve not actually seen. If you have seen it, it’s possible some of the story beats may feel familiar to you. But there’s really something unique about the way River & Indy’s relationship unfolds over the course of the novel.
I think one of the more complex dynamics in MAN O’ WAR is between River and their Mom. There are some really difficult scenes in the book, as River‘s Mom is not very accepting of River’s evolving identity. There is love there, but it’s messy & painful. Additionally, River’s older brother is asexual, so Mom is just struggling with having two queer children, and this lack of acceptance at home really permeates a lot of the story.
This book just fucking killed me, in all the best ways. While it’s heavy & sad & painful at times, this is a book that is intensely joyful & celebratory, too. It’s weird & quirky & fun & snarky…I just adored every last detail in MAN O’ WAR, and I cannot recommend it enough. I’ve just barely scratched the surface on all the things that this book does so well…this comes out on May 31st, so pre-order it if you are able!
MAN O’ WAR is an absolute treasure of a novel & easily one of my favorite reads of the year!
Massive thanks to Cory McCarthy for sending an ARC my way, and to my incredible friend Delara for organizing an unofficial street team to scream about this wonderful book!
Some content warnings to note: gender dysphoria, internalized homophobia, cissexism, racism, misgendering.
July 13, 2022
Engaging, funny, moving, and eye-opening. Well-drawn characters. An entertaining romantic story that I’d recommend to everyone and anyone.
August 27, 2022
This is pivotal. This is necessary. This is life changing.
October 12, 2022
this book was so very well done. just, extremely beautiful. the way it discusses gender, and the dinosaurs, and the way we see each other, and love …… i really really loved this book
September 21, 2023
4.5/5 Rtc
February 25, 2023
I don’t know why, but I had no desire to read this book. Honestly. I avoided it for a while. But then I did. And it was good.
As a cis person, I don’t even pretend to understand what a person who is trans experiences. I can’t understand that feeling of my body not being the right body. And I have always just left it there.
This book showed me what that experience is like for at least some people. And I appreciated it.
As a cis person, I don’t even pretend to understand what a person who is trans experiences. I can’t understand that feeling of my body not being the right body. And I have always just left it there.
This book showed me what that experience is like for at least some people. And I appreciated it.
January 8, 2024
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🪼 It's easy to realize you're not happy, but it's much harder to figure out how to fix that. 🪼
I listened Cory McCarthy's Man O' War, narrated by E.R. Fightmaster, in one sitting. After not having read much at all for over a year, I quickly and happily sank into River's world and their all too familiar coming of age story that transgender teens go through. Although no two experiences are the same, the emotion, the worries, the euphoria, and everything in between is nearly universal, and McCarthy writes it so well.
MAN O' WAR follows River McIntyre over a few years as they discover who exactly they are and who they want to become. Naturally, it's complicated. Even further complicated by the fact that discovering yourself means you have to figure out how to navigate being true to yourself in spaces where people are too busy projecting their own inner world onto you to perceive you the way you view yourself.
River is a swimmer, an Arab American, a transgender teen, and someone just trying to exist without making waves. Well, leaping into a shark tank to escape a painfully awkward conversation you already know you'll be playing in your head before bed for years to come certainly made a lot of waves. But they're trying to minimize it! All while still keeping everything and everyone they love in their life. It's a hell of a balancing act, and MAN O' WAR is a hell of a book that I hope you all consider picking up.
🪼 It's easy to realize you're not happy, but it's much harder to figure out how to fix that. 🪼
I listened Cory McCarthy's Man O' War, narrated by E.R. Fightmaster, in one sitting. After not having read much at all for over a year, I quickly and happily sank into River's world and their all too familiar coming of age story that transgender teens go through. Although no two experiences are the same, the emotion, the worries, the euphoria, and everything in between is nearly universal, and McCarthy writes it so well.
MAN O' WAR follows River McIntyre over a few years as they discover who exactly they are and who they want to become. Naturally, it's complicated. Even further complicated by the fact that discovering yourself means you have to figure out how to navigate being true to yourself in spaces where people are too busy projecting their own inner world onto you to perceive you the way you view yourself.
River is a swimmer, an Arab American, a transgender teen, and someone just trying to exist without making waves. Well, leaping into a shark tank to escape a painfully awkward conversation you already know you'll be playing in your head before bed for years to come certainly made a lot of waves. But they're trying to minimize it! All while still keeping everything and everyone they love in their life. It's a hell of a balancing act, and MAN O' WAR is a hell of a book that I hope you all consider picking up.
July 5, 2022
This is a gorgeously written story, about a teen swimmer, who is questioning their sexual identity. The obstacles seem insurmountable to River, from an overbearing mother to an overly religious psychiatrist, but with the support of a few close friends it’s not impossible. Man O’War gives hope for a better future and it’s great at teaching without preaching. I wish the rating went higher than 5⭐️’s
December 3, 2022
4.5 / 5. This broken country and red state. This small city where people paid money to watch sea animals die in cages made of glass. How could we get out? Where would we even go? Man o’ wars couldn’t survive in captivity; captive animals couldn’t survive in the wild.
honestly i’m just absolutely floored on the journey this book took me, river’s journey to be exact. i was completely absorbed seeing how this story moved through stretches of time in river’s self-discovery, ; all the people that river meets, truths they learn about themselves and also reject because sometimes it’s not so easy trying to understand yourself and how you fit into a world that feels broken. the fact that swimming plays a huge part in this story, there was a vision there whenever river spoke about how they felt in the water; how it wasn’t necessarily about being a talented swimmer for them but much rather, letting the pull of the water take them under, away from that feeling of entrapment that being on land was like, specifically stuck in this midwestern small town that was suffocated with strict binaries and racist ideology. the way they described that feeling when they’re swimming through water, mostly at races and team practices, it’s part of what made the writing in this book so incredible. even more so as we were seeing the feelings they endured back on land as they were dealing with the trials of teenagehood and then moving into college life, then adulthood.
the author has a beautiful way of envisioning all of that and making you feel like you’re right there through every terrible and broken moment that river goes through, and some incredible highs as well. i liked seeing river in all their messiness, especially in the beginning, i liked how even though they believed they were more venemous than anything else, the relationships they had with different characters revealed how much more complex that was, people like: indy, everett, their mom, catherine, mrs. cheng, electra, israel, etc; they revealed how multi-faceted, how human river is, as ugly and vulnerable as that might be. some of these people unearthed the good parts inside themselves that river never thought they had while others revealed some sad parts, a complexity that the author notes at the end isn’t as complex as some sea creatures are with some of the information we learn in different interludes.
i just generally fell in love with this story around the middle part, i was obsessed with seeing how the author tied in creatures such as sharks, orcas, octopuses, and seahorses (and even more), who both in fiction and real life are used for entertainment behind the walls of aquariums and amusement parks. it was telling seeing how little some people treat these creatures while thinking so highly of themselves, despite the huge disorder humans have created in a world built strictly based on categories, with no room to step outside of the box unless willing to deal with the fallout. these same people force these boxes on creatures who operate completely differently, to the point where some have died in these cages that were built around them.
seeing river drown in their own cage as someone who’s expected to be a certain way and act a certain way…not yet knowing the name of how they’re feeling and having to slowly unpack it over quite a couple of years, sometimes falling down and then trying to get back up—it was a very visceral reading experience. there’s a lot of trauma to unpack from this story, just some genuinely messed up shit, but there is joy, there is euphoria, there’s a lot of wry humor. it’s just…it wouldn’t have as big of an effect as it did without some damage in between.
this book will definitely change a lot of readers’ lives, im sure of it.
content warnings:
depiction of gender dysphoria, experienced homophobia/transphobia, emotional abuse (from a parent), deadnaming, references to past self-harm, discussions of animal cruelty & confinement, colorism, xenophobia, and some sexual content
honestly i’m just absolutely floored on the journey this book took me, river’s journey to be exact. i was completely absorbed seeing how this story moved through stretches of time in river’s self-discovery, ; all the people that river meets, truths they learn about themselves and also reject because sometimes it’s not so easy trying to understand yourself and how you fit into a world that feels broken. the fact that swimming plays a huge part in this story, there was a vision there whenever river spoke about how they felt in the water; how it wasn’t necessarily about being a talented swimmer for them but much rather, letting the pull of the water take them under, away from that feeling of entrapment that being on land was like, specifically stuck in this midwestern small town that was suffocated with strict binaries and racist ideology. the way they described that feeling when they’re swimming through water, mostly at races and team practices, it’s part of what made the writing in this book so incredible. even more so as we were seeing the feelings they endured back on land as they were dealing with the trials of teenagehood and then moving into college life, then adulthood.
the author has a beautiful way of envisioning all of that and making you feel like you’re right there through every terrible and broken moment that river goes through, and some incredible highs as well. i liked seeing river in all their messiness, especially in the beginning, i liked how even though they believed they were more venemous than anything else, the relationships they had with different characters revealed how much more complex that was, people like: indy, everett, their mom, catherine, mrs. cheng, electra, israel, etc; they revealed how multi-faceted, how human river is, as ugly and vulnerable as that might be. some of these people unearthed the good parts inside themselves that river never thought they had while others revealed some sad parts, a complexity that the author notes at the end isn’t as complex as some sea creatures are with some of the information we learn in different interludes.
i just generally fell in love with this story around the middle part, i was obsessed with seeing how the author tied in creatures such as sharks, orcas, octopuses, and seahorses (and even more), who both in fiction and real life are used for entertainment behind the walls of aquariums and amusement parks. it was telling seeing how little some people treat these creatures while thinking so highly of themselves, despite the huge disorder humans have created in a world built strictly based on categories, with no room to step outside of the box unless willing to deal with the fallout. these same people force these boxes on creatures who operate completely differently, to the point where some have died in these cages that were built around them.
seeing river drown in their own cage as someone who’s expected to be a certain way and act a certain way…not yet knowing the name of how they’re feeling and having to slowly unpack it over quite a couple of years, sometimes falling down and then trying to get back up—it was a very visceral reading experience. there’s a lot of trauma to unpack from this story, just some genuinely messed up shit, but there is joy, there is euphoria, there’s a lot of wry humor. it’s just…it wouldn’t have as big of an effect as it did without some damage in between.
this book will definitely change a lot of readers’ lives, im sure of it.
content warnings:
depiction of gender dysphoria, experienced homophobia/transphobia, emotional abuse (from a parent), deadnaming, references to past self-harm, discussions of animal cruelty & confinement, colorism, xenophobia, and some sexual content
May 23, 2022
Thank you to Netgalley and Penguin Teen for an arc of this book.
River is like a man-o-war: trapped in a tank they can't survive in, accidentally stings. They are on the swim team and loving the water, but have extreme body dysphoria and are struggling to survive. When they cross paths with Indy, River is able to see parts of themself they've never noticed before.
This book is an absolutely amazing exploration about discovering who you are and the pain and trauma it can cause when you don't feel like you fit. River is such a complex character--they're vicious and soft and hating and loving. I feel like River's character really shows the way people can change as they grow and understand themselves more.
Some of the moments with River's mom and coach really hurt to read about. They have some toxic people in their life, but also some amazing people that really help them through.
I adooooooore the relationship arc in this book. Cory does such a great job of writing a relationship that is so many different things and showing the way people can grow next to each other and apart. It shows the way someone else can hold a mirror up so you can really understand yourself better, but be able to form that way on your own. It is... poignant, and heart-breaking, and I loved it.
This book does time jumps which I usually don't like, but I didn't have a problem with it here. I thought it did such a good job representing the dysphoria that River goes through and hitting on the important things but still moving the story along. What I was nervous about at first ended up being a great narrative tool that made the story that much better.
I love love love this book and hope you all get it when it comes out in May.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Dysphoria, Homophobia, Gaslighting, Emotional abuse, Bullying, Transphobia, and Biphobia
Moderate: Racism, Acephobia/Arophobia, Deadnaming, Sexual harassment, Mental illness, and Outing
Minor: Alcohol and Sexual content
River is like a man-o-war: trapped in a tank they can't survive in, accidentally stings. They are on the swim team and loving the water, but have extreme body dysphoria and are struggling to survive. When they cross paths with Indy, River is able to see parts of themself they've never noticed before.
This book is an absolutely amazing exploration about discovering who you are and the pain and trauma it can cause when you don't feel like you fit. River is such a complex character--they're vicious and soft and hating and loving. I feel like River's character really shows the way people can change as they grow and understand themselves more.
Some of the moments with River's mom and coach really hurt to read about. They have some toxic people in their life, but also some amazing people that really help them through.
I adooooooore the relationship arc in this book. Cory does such a great job of writing a relationship that is so many different things and showing the way people can grow next to each other and apart. It shows the way someone else can hold a mirror up so you can really understand yourself better, but be able to form that way on your own. It is... poignant, and heart-breaking, and I loved it.
This book does time jumps which I usually don't like, but I didn't have a problem with it here. I thought it did such a good job representing the dysphoria that River goes through and hitting on the important things but still moving the story along. What I was nervous about at first ended up being a great narrative tool that made the story that much better.
I love love love this book and hope you all get it when it comes out in May.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Dysphoria, Homophobia, Gaslighting, Emotional abuse, Bullying, Transphobia, and Biphobia
Moderate: Racism, Acephobia/Arophobia, Deadnaming, Sexual harassment, Mental illness, and Outing
Minor: Alcohol and Sexual content
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